A little tale about the snake that wheezed….
Last night on my drive home from work, my husband calls me and tells me there’s some kind of creature that got in to the garage and he wasn’t sure what it was. It didn’t really growl, but it didn’t hiss either. It was tough to explain. My analytical brain didn’t comprehend this until later.
The rabbit lives in the garage in a cage, so I demanded she be brought inside. She spent some time in the dog crate. Nice improvisation, right?
Terrified that the man allergic to life would do something stupid, I was pretty happy when he said he needed to go to the store and hopefully it would leave if he left the door open. I was thirty minutes away from home at that point. He’d probably never call the paramedics himself if he got bit or attacked. He put one of our movable security cameras near the area hoping it would alert with movement so the mystery would be solved, and told me to use the front door when I got home.
So naturally, I pull in to the driveway and go in the garage to see what the deal is. I could not describe the sound coming from the pile of crap on the side of our garage. It sounded like someone on oxygen hissing. Definitely not like a normal snake. Not a dog. Just weird.
Husband gets home shortly after (and makes comment about my inability to follow directions, naturally) and gets to work clearing the area. I get one of my photography lights and we maneuver it behind a panel of extra drywall and confirm–snake! He was good size, two to three feet in length maybe. But he wasn’t happy to be discovered and man, he made some weird noises! It didn’t sound like a rattle, but it was definitely not the typical hiss we’ve heard from bull snakes that are common to our area.
Crap cleared, and we go to drop the drywall panel. Ridiculously jumpy videos to prove I’m total chicken shit.
Then, we see WHY this snake sounds so weird. He has three slashes across his body where I assume his lung area is. (I googled snake anatomy because I had no clue.) The reason for the wheeze was he’d expend his air to hiss at us, but this giant hole in his body made the return air partially leak back out as his lung protrudes from his body. It was the weirdest thing. Nonetheless, snake was not happy the garage could not be his new abode.
Michael gets a ten foot pole (ok it was an eight foot curtain rod) and we get to work trying to shuffle him out of the garage. He gets behind a second pile of crap. We should really clean out the garage. Motivation comes in the weirdest ways, wouldn’t you agree?
Snake gets shoved out of the garage and around the corner to the outside wall. His injury doesn’t look fresh in the light, but he’s not in good shape. He wants back in the garage. We quickly shuffle cars inside and shut the door, each one of us taking turns to watch snake so he doesn’t get back in. Debate ensues about whether he’ll make it on his own, or do we “put him out of his misery.” I’m sure the little guy was feeling pain, but he sure put on a nice act about how ticked off he was. Getting near him was a big “hell no” in my book.
We watched his injury with his breathing, coming to the conclusion a bird must have got him and he escaped. It looked like talon marks and there is a HUGE hawk that hunts nearby. We left a five gallon bucket out as refuge if he needed it and went inside to check to see if the dog crapped all over. (That’s another story.)
Came back outside thirty minutes later and snake is gone. Go inside garage and stand in the quiet for what felt like ten minutes. Listening for wheezing. Pretty sure we are in the clear. Let’s just hope he didn’t take up residence under the front deck. I’ll never use the front door again!